All We Can Do Is Our Best
by K-OfTheSouthernIsles
Summary: This takes place shortly after the end of Agent Carter. When Peggy is having to adjust to life after losing everything she ever knew. (Sucky description, probably sucky story, but it's all I've got.)


**_/Peggy's POV/_**

 _Chapter: Mirage, Mannequin, or the Man?_

For Heaven's sake, Margaret, pull yourself together. It's not like you poured Steve's body out in that river. No, it just the only remaining part of him there was to hold onto. I'm not a bad person for doing what I did. If anyone else got their grubby, greedy hands on that vile; they'd destroy it. The thought of someone mucking up the last of Steve; it's unbearable.

A true blessing of this time is that Angie has gone to spend some time with her mother, the residence is mine to do as I please without fear of anyone seeing my flustered tears or me seeing their consoling looks. I know that they happen.

Sometimes I wish that Mr. Jarvis had never let me know about that blasted vile. Just sometimes though. Wholly taking responsibility for the last part of the world's greatest man and soldier was a blessing. Better to lose it than worry if some crazy scientist is out there trying to clone the one man who could never be replaced.

The book in my hand gets tossed aside, no use in trying to read. All these screaming thoughts flood my head. Perhaps Mr. Jarvis knows of a Stark residence near a beach or high up in the mountains away from anything; maybe I could spend a while there.

To just get away from it all for a while? Wouldn't that be the dream.

My feet lower from the ottoman and take a stroll over to the window. Snow covers everything. It's dreadful, too pure and bright for this nasty world. Much like anything that's good, the world will snuff it out.

"Peggy." _Knock, knock, knock._ "Please, open the door."

As quickly as my heels will carry me, I dash through the estate that Howard is allowing Angie and I to occupy. On the other side of the window stands Mr. Jarvis and Agent Sousa.

"Don't you have a key to this place?" Daniel impatiently asks.

"It would be rude to simply barg-. Oh, Ms. Carter." Edwin greets as I open the door. Daniel turns around to face me.

"Hello, Boys. Is there something the matter? Do you just enjoy scaring my wits out and disturbing me?" I fold my arms across my chest. It's not that I wanted to be curt with them. Out of all the people I know, they were probably my favorite, but after losing that last piece of Steve; time away from everyone was just in order.

"We found him." Daniel once again blurts out. "You've gotta come with us. H-he's back. As soon as I heard, I had to come get you."

This has to be some sort of elaborate prank, but maybe I jumped the gun. There's no telling who Sousa could be talking about.

"Well, are you just going to stand there? Steve is waiting for you!"

"That's impossible." I cover my mouth with my hand, trying to keep my composure. "I am not going to stand here and be made a fool of."

I begin to shut the door when Edwin sticks his hand out and grabs hold of it.

"Actually, Ms. Carter, I wouldn't let this young man know your location until there was solid proof. I knew that Mr. Stark was conducting a search party and waited until I got the words directly from his mouth. The news is true. Mr. Rogers has returned."

"Then, what are we waiting for?"

* * *

"He's not actually awake, but he's here. And is receiving the finest medical attention available." Howard explains as we walk to where they are supposedly keeping Steve. "We have no idea how he survived all the ice and freezing temperatures. He looks a little beat up-."

"Tell me this isn't some big joke at my expense. If it is, I swear, I'll shoot you, Daniel, and Mr. Jarvis."

"Peg, I wouldn't do that to you. You're the one woman I will never attempt to deceive. Don't believe me?" Howard makes a sudden halt. "The hypothermia is pretty bad. Frostbitten in places that just shouldn't be. In fact, his core temperature, last we checked, was 75. We found him, but let's be honest with ourselves; no would would last two days out there like he did. He was out there for over a year. Though, I've heard stories of this sort of thing. Cavemen supposedly found in ice, thawed, and surviving; only to disappear, but none the less maybe we can hope for the same kind of miracle." Swinging out a single arm to open the door to his right, Howard can't help but wait to see my reaction. "Take a look for yourself."

Beyond the door frame, in a more than adequate sized bed, is laying a black and blue version of Captain America.

"Be careful with his oxygen mask and heart monitor-."

With a more than unusual gasp, I fling my arms around Howard's neck and hug quickly. "By God! You mean he has a heartbeat?"

"I sure do." He, in turn, lightly hugs me."Go on in. Maybe you can raise his temperature. I'll give orders for no one to disturb while you're in there."

"Don't be lewd... Oh, Howard. I can't believe you actually did it."

"He's a very ill man. We're doing all that we know how to do to increase his chances for life. If any man deserves to live; it's Steve. He lived a better life and had a better legacy to leave behind in that time he had than any of us would have."

"Can I see him now?"

"Go ahead."

I take a few steps in and close the door myself. A part of me is still scared that when I get to the bedside; it'll be a mirage or a mannequin. Perhaps an actor of sorts. Why would all these people go through such great lengths to hurt me so?

There happens to be several chairs strewn about the room, I take the one closest to his face so I can study him. If it's him, surely I can tell by just a few looks. Actually, just one will do it. Though it's been a year, not a detail of his marvelously etched face has slipped my mind.

"My darling." My words come out as a whisper as I take my seat. All at once, I couldn't resist touching his face, hair, hands. "Can it really be?"

He lay unflinching, so vulnerable, but even in a death-like sleep; an aura of gentleness yet manliness surrounds. Just like I remember him, always the gentleman, but not afraid to get his hands dirty. You can see it when you look at him.

"If you do make it back to us, Steve, I do hope that this world does not change you. Over this past year I've obsessed over the things I wanted to say to you, in honesty, it was easier to think them not knowing I would actually have the chance to say them to you. I'd have never been able to say them to you before, but spending all that time thinking I'd never say these things made me regret not-. Oh, I'm talking in circles. I'm not too sure I'm even making sense. But, when you went under I started thinking about our life that would no longer be; carrying out missions together, traveling to see the world, you taking me to the place where you grew up, and me teaching you Nana's recipe for the perfect cup of tea. The idea of marriage and family even dabbled for a short while. I say all these things to say; I learned from our time together that putting things off is no way to live."


End file.
